By: Karissa Are
A few days ago, I had some parents asking me how they can raise awareness to their children about the current situation happening all over the world, specifically about the war going on not only in Ukraine but also in some countries in the Middle East. So, let’s talk about this.
War is a big concept to grasp for children. We can start by explaining to them that war happens when one country fights with another (or several) countries. If you want to focus on a certain place, make sure to address facts. Tell them the reason why it is happening/it happened and the effects of war on the people that live in that country because they are directly affected – some people might get hurt, some might leave the country to find safety, some places will be destroyed, and some people will fight to keep the country safe. If they do ask questions, entertain them and give them more ideas. As much as possible try to use simple terms or explanations to help them grasp it easily. Let’s try as much as possible to avoid describing one as the “bad guy” and the other one as the “good guy” because it isolates the characteristics.
Address the emotions that can be related to war. During this time, it can be really scary and stressful. Because it is not safe and a lot of people can get hurt, it can create fear – people are worried for their safety. Some people can feel very sad because they lose a loved one or because everything they own got destroyed. You can also check in on your child how it makes them feel knowing about it so you can manage the tone of the conversation. (I had one student who felt anxious listening because she imagined what would happen to their country. Who will protect her? We processed it together and she managed to find a coping skill to help her relax.)
Address how it makes you feel as an adult. It is important to express how stressful situations make you feel. I told the children that the current news about the war in Ukraine and Russia and some of the countries in the Middle East gives me anxiety because I am worried about how it will affect everyone. Will that create fear knowing that an adult they know is scared? It can. BUT showing them that to feel those emotions is a valid feeling and expressing them is okay. What makes it more okay is when you tell them how you can cope – one student asked me if I told my mom about it, and I said yes. I also told them that I stopped watching the news for a while to help me feel less worried and that I treat myself with ice cream. Developing a healthy coping mechanism during stressful situations can help calm our nerves. Validate feelings and teach/learn healthy coping mechanisms.
While there are a lot of sad things happening all over the world right now. Innocent people getting hurt and some are even dying, let’s continue to teach our children to be kind human beings. So, war can be avoided in the future and instead, love and compassion will be spread.